When I started this blog six months ago, I did not realize how special it would become. Much less the fact I would actually stick to it! This blog has fueled inside of me a love for writing. A passion to write about marriage, motherhood, family, faith, food, and even topics beyond that spectrum. I did not want this blog to be a place where I vent to readers or express my frustrations. I created this blog with the sole purpose to keep family and friends updated on our journey into parenthood. And to inspire…I get a lot of joy out of making others happy and spreading a little cheer! I like to make people laugh… it’s my thing.
But today… today I have to vent. I have to vent about… The Bachelor.
Yes, I watch The Bachelor. It is my guilty pleasure. Along with bacon cheddar cheese fries dipped in glorious Ranch dressing…you just can’t go wrong.
I know, I know… the last thing I need to be fretting about right now is the ‘most dramatic (and controversial) ending in Bachelor history’ ever. There are a lot of other things that need to be my top priority besides this television show, but I can’t seem to shake what happened on live television last night. I don’t even know where to start, y’all… do you start with his offensive comment to Clare? Do you start with his own family handing out red flag after red flag? Do you start in the circles he was running all over in his conversations? (We don’t want to start there, we will all get extremely dizzy.) Do you start with the fact that he ‘hushed’ Chris Harrison? That is a BIG no no. Or, would you rather start at the fact he would never proclaim his love for the girl he chose? (Excuse me, you did sign up to be ‘The Bachelor’ in public eye…you said good bye to a private life the day you said yes.) Let’s be honest Juan Pablo, if you are so big on honesty… the simple fact that you couldn’t be honest about how you feel about Nikki contradicts itself just a weeeeeeee little bit, amigo. Juan Pablo, the way you acted….eeees not okay.
As Andrew and I sat there watching this mess happen before our eyes, (Andrew mocking Juan Pablo the entire time… his humor in this was the only thing that saved me during those long three hours!) my jaw continued to drop lower…lower…and lower, until all the Junior Mints I was stuffing into my mouth all fell out. I am getting to my point (remember…I am venting) my point is this: I believe that the majority of our generation and society has lost respect for themselves and the opposite sex. We live in a world where ladies are no longer ladies. Why are we surprised when men objectify us? Why are we surprised when we are not treated the way we deserve or ought to be treated? Let me tell you honey, we have fallen short of the standards we ought to be upholding for ourselves. If you really want a man to truly love you, you don’t have to be anyone less than who you are. That being said, you don’t necessarily have to clothe yourself in less either. And, the most important lesson to gain from good ole’ Juan Pablo…girlfriend, if you want someone to respect you… you have to respect yourself first and foremost. No man is going to you respect you fully until you show him that you respect yourself.
And men, first of all…be men. Quite frankly, if you need lessons, go watch this season of ‘The Bachelor’ and do everything opposite of him. Just kidding. As a woman of this generation, I want to apologize that as women we are only making it harder for you to show us respect. I apologize we are tempting you by not seeming to uphold the standards we should be upholding as ladies. That is not us respecting, you. And, I will make a confession for all women. A lot of us tend be independent and controlling. STOP US. You are the man. Be the man! YOU are supposed to wear the pants in the relationship, mister! Don’t sit there and let the woman to tell you you are taking us on a date…just take us on a date! All women want is for you to take responsibility and to love us. Instead of talking the talk, walk the walk…isn’t that what we are supposed to do for the people we love? It is definitely a challenge, but I believe you can do it men! Walk the walk!
I have already started to pray for the men that my daughters will marry one day. I pray that they chase after God’s heart as hard as they chase after my daughters. I pray that they treat my girls with the utmost respect. I pray that Amelia and Leah will always be respectful of themselves as young ladies. I pray they find someone like their Daddy. After watching tonight’s finale of ‘The Bachelor’ I thanked The Lord a little more for blessing me with Andrew White. Like any relationship, we have definitely had our share of ups and downs, but at the end of the day I am thankful he leads us back to where our love is centered, at the foot of the cross. I am incredibly blessed that my husband treats me like a lady, and he showers me with love and respect daily.
This is the most important lesson we can all learn: true love comes from Christ. Christ gave His one and only SON for US! After watching that debacle on the television tonight, no wonder our generation is so confused about what love is… the own Bachelor couldn’t even tell us! My friends, love is sacrifice. Love is service. Love is submission. And I did not learn this from watching ‘The Bachelor’, but rather from the only truth we should adhere to comprehend.
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interest of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus. Who, being in very nature, God did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death–even death on a cross!” SACRIFICE. Philippians 2:3-8
“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” SUBMISSION. Ephesians 5:21
All things being equal, at the end of the day we all just want the reassurance of knowing that we are loved. My friends, we are deeply, deeply loved. As deep as the love that Andrew and I have for one another, and for our girls, we know that there is One who loves us all far more. This is my peace. I am grateful to serve a God that showers a generation that is lost with abundant and merciful grace. We were created to life life this way: to love others.
Whew! After all this venting, I just need to say a prayer for all of you that are choosing to read my rant.
Gracious and loving God, I confess that I do not bend my knees before you, nor do I always give you the glory that you deserve. I try to operate on my own strength, rather than depend on the power of your Holy Spirit. When my faith is shallow and I am not firmly rooted in love, I cannot show the love of your son, Jesus. Lord, forgive me. Strengthen within me the power of your Holy Spirit. Lord I pray that you help my generation to understand what is the breadth and the length and the height and the depth of your power and love for us, that we might show the love of Jesus Christ in our lives. Amen.
Never be afraid to show love, friends. The right kind of love. Eeeees okay.